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A strange car pulls into the driveway. The driver says she just moved into a house down the road and found several bags of bulk charcoal in the greenhouse. She doesn’t cook outside but didn’t want to throw them away. She asked at the tiny corner store if they knew of anyone around here who could use it. Fred said, “Yeah, where the llamas are? He’s down here buying charcoal all the time.” That was nice of Fred because if not for Captain OCD’s wine and charcoal purchases and a neighbor’s purchases of a pack of smokes and a 40, multiple times a day (if this wasn’t such a small community, I wouldn’t know that), he would be out of business.

We don’t know what house she moved in to, so Captain OCD was trying to come up with theories about why bulk charcoal would be in a greenhouse. After evaluating several plausible scenarios, he settled on the one where the guy used a charcoal filter to filter the water he used to irrigate his tender young seedlings. I suggested that, like 98.4% of all home greenhouses, it was being used to store household crap.