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What I want to say to the cherubic-faced Boy Scout with impeccable manners standing outside of Albertsons with his dad, both in full-on Boy Scout dress, when he timidly but politely says, “Excuse me, ma’am? Would you like to buy some popcorn to support the Boy Scouts?”:

I’m sorry, sweetheart. I applaud your commitment in giving up your PS3 time to work for what is often a good cause, and the Boy Scouts do a lot of good for a lot of boys, but I won’t support a bigoted organization that excludes whole groups of people for who they have sex with or whether or not they worship a particular god, or any god at all. While I support private organizations’ rights to implement any membership criteria they wish, as long as they do not receive any public funds, I choose to not support such organizations by buying overpriced snack foods that are clearly a rip-off perpetuated by the companies that make unseemly gobs of money off the backs of little kids selling stuff that no one really wants or needs to friends, family, and strangers.

What I do say,

No, thank you.