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Even though I don’t drink coffee (no moral objection, just don’t like it), I get it ready for Captain OCD every night. Because I don’t drink it, I have no idea if it’s good or not. If I ever make you coffee, it’s to your benefit to be honest when I ask if it’s okay.

This morning I get up to a note in the kitchen: “Coffee works better when you use water.”

I have to do everything around here.