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For Mother’s Day the kids got me a Clarisonic Mia brush. I like it very much and believe it’s worth the price, especially since I didn’t pay the price. We’ve used a Sonicare toothbrush (well, more than one) since they first came out many years ago, and I’m a fan of the whole sonic principle in general.

A couple of weeks ago I pushed the button on the Mia and nothing happened. Must need charging. Plugged it in, then realized it didn’t vibrate like it usually does when you plug it in (which, by the way: the magnetic “plug” is one of the coolest things about the Mia). And the charging light wasn’t on. After about a minute, it started a somewhat vigorus thumping inside, but still would not do its sonic thing on the outside. In that short amount of time, I’d forgotten how to manually wash my face.

I searched various versions of “clarisonic doesn’t work thump now what am I supposed to do my life is so hard.” I couldn’t find the exact symptom, but found a forum where Clarisonic was answering users’ questions in an exeedingly polite manner, and they kept practically begging people to call an 800 number so they could be of more help. So I called it.

Thank you for calling Clarisonic, how may I help you today?

I’m hoping you can tell me why my brush quit working.

I’m sorry for the inconvenience. What is it doing?

It won’t turn on and it kind of thumps.

Where did you get it?

Macy’s, I think.

She asked for my contact information. I gave it to her.

What color is it?

Green. Mint green.

Can you read me the serial number?

I did so.

When you take the brush head off, what color are the pins?

Brass?

Gold or brass? Brass is darker.

Then let’s call it gold.

What is your street address? We ship these UPS and they won’t deliver to a PO box.

What just happened? You ship what? Gold pins? At no point did I ask or did she say they would replace the Mia. Didn’t ask when I got it. Didn’t ask if I’d used it to scrub the grout. Didn’t tell me to take it back to the store. Didn’t tell me when I had to send the old one back.

I called on a Friday afternoon. The mint-green Mia was delivered on Tuesday, with an extra brush-head, a pre-paid UPS label to send the old one back to them, and an apology. When Clarisonic goes into the cell phone business, bye bye Verizon.