Email from an actual well-educated professional:
See attached correspondence [in a Word doc, of course]. My email address is [email protected] [because it’s impossible to ascertain my email address from this very email]. I never check my email, so if you email me something, I insist that you call me to tell me that you emailed me something so I know to check my email for your transmittal.
So, even though you can’t be bothered to check your email, which is like saying you can’t be bothered to unlock your doors during advertised business hours, you’re emailing me to tell me that if I must email something to you, because I’m all bleeding-edge technological, you demand that I then call you to personally invite you to check your email. You win: any correspondence henceforth shall be by facsimile transmission.